You're not crazy. You're just misunderstood

I’ve never really fit in.

I mean, I know how to blend in when I need to, but I’ve never actually felt like I fit in basically anywhere I go.

When I was growing up, I loved all kinds of things that I guess wasn’t typical for people my age to be interested in. I remember being 9 years old learning about electromagnetic induction, and theorizing about the nature of the universe.

It wasn’t for any reason other than I simply found these things fascinating.

But I was shamed for exploring these things that I felt called to explore.  I wasn’t shamed directly, but it was more like snide comments, and dismissiveness, and passive aggressive remarks that made it clear that I was not normal.

This weighed heavily on me because at the time, I didn’t have the confidence or wisdom to understand that it was okay to be different. I didn’t realize that all of the negative energy that I received was mostly do to people’s own insecurities and ignorance.

Unfortunately, back then I thought something was wrong with me for being interested in things that no one else my age seemed to care about at all. I couldn’t relate to whatever one else was interested in.  I never could get into fashion, or pop culture, or whatever else young people cared about back in those days.

So I struggled to be authentic with anyone. I had to put on a mask … because I didn’t want anyone to think I was weird or lame, or someone who they didn’t want to be around.

As I got older, I began to learn that the things that I previously hid about myself, were the same things that pave my path towards living my dream life.

Being a nerd, for lack of better term, is what gave me the knowledge to get into the best shape of my life at 39 years old without even lifting weights.  It was the catalyst for me leaving my corporate 9-5 and having more time to do with my life whatever I want.  It’s the reason why I’m now enjoying a slower and more peaceful life in Europe.

So the lesson that took me much longer to learn than it should have taken is that, in the modern world, it is advantageous to embrace your authentic self at the risk of everyone else not understanding you. In reality, most people don’t’ know what the f**k they’re doing in life. They’re just following whatever blueprint they were told to follow and they play by the rules of a broken system.

Referencing a quote from Erich Fromm:

“The fact that millions of people share the same forms of mental pathology does not make these people sane.”

Over the years after having conversations with many people about fulfillment, and purpose, and the meaning of life, I’ve learned that my experience is not unique.  So many people deep down on the inside feel like they have to hide their true selves and conform to a certain lifestyle that they don’t even want to live, because they know they will be misunderstood when they present themselves to the world in a way that challenges the rules.

At some point you probably question this whole system that we’re living in. You might ask yourself why you have to work some 9-5 job for 40 years, and go into debt to build “good credit”, and to live in a certain way that, when you really think about it, doesn’t make sense to you. The life you actually want for yourself might be in direct conflict with everything you were taught about what a successful life looks like.

But the moment you think about challenging conventional wisdom, people will be sure to let you know that you are crazy.  They say that misery loves company, and it’s as if the world doesn’t want you to think for yourself, or play by your own rules, or to live on your own terms.

So my message to you in this essay is that you are not crazy for wanting the best for yourself. You're just misunderstood.

And when I say “the best” I don’t mean it according to whatever society defines is best, but I mean it in terms of what you know is best.

If you are constantly thinking about how much you feel like you don’t belong in the corporate rat race, and life for you would be better doing a simple job that actually makes you feel deeply fulfilled, then you’re not crazy for that.

If you feel like most things that people buy is a waste of money, and that you’ll find far more satisfaction when you’re able to just unplug and live a very simple life with few possessions, then you’re not crazy for that.

If you’re noticing that everyone around you is always sick, or stressed out, or very out of shape, and you decide that you want to center your life around health and wellness instead, then you’re not crazy for that.

This is how I ended up leaving my corporate job, giving away almost everything I own, and making my health, physical and mental, a top priority for me….

Society breeds mediocrity. It’s designed for the lowest common denominator and therefore is not supportive of people who want to vibrate on a higher frequency – people who want to elevate themselves in mind, body, and spirit.

So if you are someone who seeks to elevate in any way, this is probably why most people simply do not understand you, but that should not prevent you living as authentically as possible.  And you certainly should not think that something is wrong with you for taking a different path.

If you feel called to do anything that deviates far from what society deems is normal, then you should pursue that calling, 100%.

Society is unwell to say the least, so staying on the normal path is definitely not a winning formula.

Quoting Jiddu Krishnamurti:

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”

75% of American adults have no purpose in life, meaning that people are really just out here existing. They’re not living for anything.

2/3 of Americans say they would quit their jobs if money was no issue, which means that most people go to work because they feel like they have to, and not because they want to.

And here’s the real kicker. 88% of adults in the U.S. are metabolically unhealthy, and it’s almost totally driven by lifestyle factors such as poor eating habits, terrible stress management, and being extraordinarily sedentary.

So trust me, you’re not crazy for intuitively knowing that you want to take a different path.

One thing about all of this is that people can definitely feel it when they are not in alignment.  You probably know when something isn’t right. You know that whatever energy you’re currently feeling is a signal that you’re on the wrong path, but you may not exactly know where to go from here.

So if you do know that something is off and you need to figure out your next move, then you should tap into The Self-Reinvention Cheat Code which is my 60-day system for transforming your life, and the first module is all about finding your true path for authentic living.

You’ll also get access to CerebriX and over 10 hours of video content of everyday people just like you telling their stories about how they overcame their own struggles to change their lives.

What that said, I want to spend the rest of this essay diving into what you should do if you decide that you want to finally embrace that inner self who wants to do life differently than everyone else.

So if you’re ready to drop the mask and exit the system that’s keeping so many people out of shape, depressed, and lacking purpose… and if you want to start living a truly authentic life on your own terms then keep reading.

Build Subconscious Awareness

Your conscious awareness represents only about 5% of your total life experience. This means that about 95% of everything you know is buried in your subconscious mind.

Joe Dispenza explains this perfectly:

“We live 95% of our lives from the subconscious mind, repeating the same patterns, thoughts, and behaviors over and over, never realizing that we are capable of creating something completely new.”

“The subconscious mind is the storehouse of all your beliefs, emotions, and behaviors. To truly create new possibilities, you must embody new thoughts and feelings until they become the new subconscious patterns.”

Throughout your life, your mind has subconsciously been recording all of the data that it’s taken in. Every conversation you’ve had, every good and bad thing that you’ve experienced, and it has literally programmed your mind and body to operate in a certain way.

The answer to many of the questions that you have about yourself lie within the subconscious mind.

So if you’re getting the signals that something is off and you need to course correct and find the path that you’re called to be on, then instead of guessing, or looking outward hoping that someone or something gives you direction, you need to look inward.

Tapping into your subconscious mind will help you to create an anti-vision which you’ll then invert to find your vision. Then from there you establish a set of values that you’ll live by, and then if necessary you also can create a goal for yourself.

This is what will set you on your path.

Design Your Environment

I was never in the military, but I’m familiar with the concept of shaping the battlefield. Basically, you want to take every measure within your control to increase the likelihood of success.

So you’re taking out bridges, and airfields, and communications towers so that when you make your main push forward you face as little resistance as possible.

I really like this concept because it applies to life as well. But instead of shaping the battlefield, you’re altering your environment to make it much easier to live in alignment with your vision.

So if you are mentally checked out of the rat race, and your goal is to leave the corporate 9-5 life, and enjoy a simpler life with a less stressful job, no TEAMS messages, no emails, no performance reviews, no all-hands meetings… then you need to shape your environment so that it naturally guides your life in that direction.

Modify your environment so that the path of least resistance leads to your ideal state of being.

Quoting James Clear:

“Environment is the invisible hand that shapes human behavior.”

“You don’t have to be the victim of your environment. You can also be the architect of it.”

Your environment is anything external to you that you interact with.  So that’s the physical spaces you occupy, it’s the people you interact with, it’s the information you consume.  It’s anything that influences your actions, your mood, and your decisions on a daily basis.

So the four key domains of your environment are:

1. Physical – the actual spaces that you frequent like your home, your workplace, and your car

2. Psychological – your thoughts which influence your internal frequencies

3. Social – the people that you interact with regularly (friends, relatives, co-workers, and, romantic partners)

4. Information – the content you consume such as news, books, lectures, social media, and websites

Designing your environment means auditing your life within these four domains, being intentional about how you navigate through them, and making changes to each in support of your vision.

I talk about minimalism a lot in my essays, and this one is no different. You must clear up any clutter in each of these domains of your life to make space for things that are more conducive to whatever it is that you want.

This means letting go of material possessions that could be preventing you from moving forward with your life. It means letting go of negative thought loops and self-destructive habits.  It means distancing yourself from people who don’t align with your vision for life, especially the people who call you crazy for pursuing your calling.  And it means deleting social media apps, or cutting out the news, or anything else that is poisoning your mind.

When you do this, you can then make the necessary alterations to your environment which puts you in alignment with your purpose. 

And when you’re living in alignment, you no longer feel like you’re the crazy one because your environment has been curated specifically for the purpose of guiding you towards your ideal lifestyle.

Establish Systems For Living

Systems to live by are truly a life hack.

“Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress. … A well-designed system will always win. Having a system is what matters. Committing to the process is what makes the difference.” – James Clear

We’ve just talked about the importance of designing your environment because it is essential for putting you on the right path, but the next challenge is staying on your path.

Consistency over a period of time is where real results come from.

This is where a lot of people fail.  How many people have you seen give up on getting back into shape? How many people have you seen throw the towel in on a new business idea? Or quit prematurely when trying to do anything difficult like learn a new language or how to play an instrument?

The reason is that people rely too much on discipline to be consistent. On a daily basis, our moods change, sometimes we just don’t want to do things, we get tired, etc.  Other times we get discouraged because keeping a positive outlook on things all the time is exhausting.

Consistency requires a lot of cognitive energy. The brain alone consumes a quarter of the body’s energy, despite comprising only about 1/20th of our total body mass. So yes, the act of thinking, and trying to make the right decision, is draining.

We have a cognitive battery, and once the cognitive energy is drained, we lose our ability to stay consistent, to stay on task, and to push through inevitable resistance.

So how do we build efficiencies into our life? How do we reduce the cognitive energy requirement for resisting distractions and staying true to our calling?

We do this by creating systems for living.

There’s no single system that works. What works for one person will not work for the other. But generally systems are a set of rules, actions, and automations that put key elements of your life on autopilot.

Having a morning routine is a system. Having a schedule is a system. Having recurring events in your life is a system. Systems don’t need to be complicated. They just need to tell you what to do, when to do it, how to do it, who to do it with, and where to do it so that you don’t need to constantly make these decisions for yourself.

The decision is made one time when you create your system for living, and then you just move forward with it. And because you’ve done the work of looking inwards to find your purpose in life, and you’ve designed your environment for the path of least resistance, you’re system is going to be much easier to implement than it is for someone who hasn’t made these conscious decisions.

When you  follow this simple blueprint, you can finally stop living this life where you know you don’t quite fit but you also don’t embrace your authentic self out of fear of being misunderstood. Instead, you create a reality where you’re crystal clear on what you want in life and you have a support system to help you achieve your ideal lifestyle.

If you want to leave corporate America, or if you want to stop participating in the culture of consumerism and financial slavery, or you want to center your life around health or family, then you can use this framework.

And once again, if you’re ready to take the initiative and stop letting people who don’t understand you dictate your life then I created The Self-Reinvention Cheat Code specifically to help you do this. Or if you’re not yet ready for that then you can also check out the other free and paid resources to support your journey at The Focus Algorithm.